Hello everyone! Please check out my first score to a short film

please like it here too! Thanks!

Heres a quick update on what i have been doing, i usually just write this as my own personal blog that others can read...so yeah, its not like some spectacular update or anything.

But anyway, this year has been crazy, i have not stopped doing things since october. I was working insanely at Chick-Fil-a for about 6 months and now thats cooled down, i spent two hard months in a musical Called Barnum, and now i have just finished a short film and am going on tour to sing in San Francisco.

My senior year has been crazily booked, and honestly it changed me. I finally discovered what my problems are and how to fix them. Basically i just have concentration issues. Whether it be from my ADHD or OCD i am not sure, but because of it, composing music has been extremely difficult for about a year and a half, up until two weeks ago, which i have now officially cured.

At first when i was having this difficulty i had no idea what it was that made it so hard for me to compose, because any time i went to school i would improvise over people playing music so naturally, and when i came home the process was extremely slow and painful.

But basically all i do now is play sound effects in the background when i compose, and spend a lot of time listening to sounds, not other peoples music. Sound to me is so extremely beautiful and random and full of life that it inspires me to create music in the exact same way. I like playing other peoples music, but they are not me, and i prefer creating musical art from my own experiences, not playing others on there experiences. Even the short film i finished recently i am very proud of, but parts of it have a hint of other artists in mind. For example, i would sometimes think of other artists such as Yann Tiersen or Michael Giachino or Stravinsky. Its not my style to compose like this. I compose better when looking at life.

I will not be going to college at Berklee, since i did not get in. I am going to be spending a year and a half off to continue developing my artistic style. Many say i should go to community college, but i have my whole life to enter that hell whole. I want to spend just one more year to create something truly great. That i can look at and marvel at its greatness and for everyone to see. And then i will decide where my life will take me...I know i shouldn't do it that way, but i just want to create! I want to discover the world and see life like i have never seen it before.

I also believe something bad is going to happen soon. I feel like we, as in everyone in America, are all driving in a really fast car and are getting away with breaking the law. But eventually we are going to crash, and everyone will be impacted. This is another reason why i dont want to go to college right now. Since the schools i want to get into wont accept me right now in my current condition, and i would only go to community college if i had the goal of getting a 4.0 when leaving.

It just didnt feel right. I just feel like this is the only chance i got to create something really great. I have always gotten really close, but the project had to close.

Anyway, i gotta get to doing my homework.

thanks for listening.

Jamal